I guess I can say I’m not human if I haven’t had a bout or two of depression. Last year, 30 hit me hard, I’ll admit. And I know there are naysayers and haters alike saying….”you’re beautiful, no kids, full time job…what do you have to be depressed about.” Well we all have our struggles, inside and out. I guess u could say the post show blues got me…haven’t felt comfy in my own skin since my last competition. There was really no stopping it. I didn’t immediately jump into my next show or race….nothing. My motivation went down, and my self destruction began. I stopped writing blogs, my creativity and excitement that had for writing articles, and posting fitness ideas, and prepping healthy food went down. I’m 31 now and I don’t want everything to end. I’m lucky to have this life, lucky to be alive, so there is no point in just wasting it away, waking up everyday to the same thing day in and day out with no future goal in mind. My bf is even super supportive and truly loves me for me. Though he says I can get fat and stop my fitness life if thats what I really want, I know he really doesnt want to see me go down that slope. He fell in love with my strong competitive mindset and knows that I can work hard and be successful. He thinks I’m beautiful inside and out and now I need to do the same. This world is so corrupt and messed up, there is only “right now” to be happy. I’m coming back. And this time I’m not backing down. And mom, if you are reading this, you are going to stop smoking. You have to. Do it for yourself. 🙂 Life is too short to waste it.
And since we know life is all about those small things…. On an extra positive note. I spotted some fruit striped gum at the grocery store the other day. Bought that shit. Happiness, even for the 30 seconds of its short but amazing tasty lifespan.
Fitnessprinkles 